The Game of Home Teacher Torture

I’m passive-aggressive when it comes to our home teachers. The sisters in the ward gave up on me last year after a once a week letter campaign never bore fruit (my oldest child thought the homemade cards were from grandma and I had fun making up messages since he can't read). So after that failure, the ward sent in the heavy hitters. Now we have home teachers that are members of the Elder Quorum presidency. The two men have yet to visit us as a pair, which works for me because one of them I enjoy debating because he can keep it civil, while the other is just goose stepping his way to the celestial kingdom. The only thing I don’t like about the situation is that my celestial sex partner never remembers they are coming so they always catch us doing the random things couples do on a Sunday night when their small children have gone to bed. Who are these men that spend three hours at church, go to whatever meetings (which I thought weren’t supposed to be on Sunday), and then want to visit us?

The home teacher I’ll actually be present for says he’s fascinated by our “good” marriage because we’re such opposites when it comes to the church, (Translation: If this chick were my wife I'd be outta here!) What he fails to realize is that in this country many marriages are made up of mixed religions, you just have to practice tolerance, communication, and let the other person be who they are. The other reason I get a kick out of this home teacher is that he asks lots of questions which inevitably lead to answers that make his bum cheeks tense and his eyebrows jump. Now that’s my idea of fun and I think my CSP finds it entertaining too. Last month the HT asked why I didn’t go to church. I told him I was testing out the “at home church” pilot program and that so far, I was getting better results than when I sat in the pews. So please Bishop _________ keep the home teachers coming, otherwise we’ll be stuck watching reruns or playing Uno on Sunday nights.

I Think I Know How Obama Feels

***If you've already read this, be sure to check out the new comment from the administrator of LDS Blogs--what are your thoughts on his response?***

I submitted my blog to one of the Mormon blog libraries and they responded that it was too “taboo” for them. So I tried another one, got a response, followed their directions and nothing happened. Okay, I thought, I admit to being edgy. In my mind I like to think I’m being honest about the questions and struggles that many people with a Mormon background have. Then I thought maybe a “recovering” Mormon website would list me, nope, seems I’m not “ex” enough for them. So where does a person like me fit in on the spectrum of Mormonism? I’m a seventh generation Mormon from one of the families often mentioned in our history and my name is on the church records, but I admit that over the years (and after some deep research and answered prayers) I’ve become an unbeliever while my husband still liberally practices the faith. That said, I’ll admit that a lot of my life is lived through a Mormon perspective, that in many ways I adhere to some of the tenants (some just make sense) and I could probably lie my way to a temple recommend, but honestly I don’t want to. Where does that leave me?

In Utah it left me branded as being deceived by Satan when I got a different “answer”, someone to be pitied and pursued. Most of the LDS friends and neighbors I grew up with, went to school with, pulled away if I told them about my thoughts. On the East coast it left me with lots of LDS friends who welcomed me no matter my beliefs, some even sharing them. It brought me back to sacrament meeting with my husband and into the nursery with my child. I was part of the community, accepted as I was. Now in the South (and partially in UT) it again has isolated me, brought people to my door with no interest in befriending me, only wanting to save and promote themselves by bringing about my “prodigal son” return.

So what is the identity of a person not Mormon enough to be welcomed into the fold as they are, but not ex-Mormon enough to forget their ancestry and personal past?

Why Do This?

While I appreciate hearing everyone's opinions on the “Men On A Mission” calendar, and I have to say some excellent points were made on why this calendar shouldn't have been made- countering my own position, it saddens me to see that some have used my blog to write personal attacks against another person's standing in the church. This shows that tolerance and patience should continue to be preached from the pulpit.

I spent a good part of last night and today wondering if I wanted to continue with this blog, especially when it had the potential to cause so much angst in people’s lives. Why is it we have such a difficult time, particularly in the LDS church, when someone expresses a position different than our own? Is free agency not the very point of our existence?

When I started this blog it was because I wanted to know if I was alone in my thoughts and I now know I’m not, so I’ve decided to continue as in the end I write for no one but myself. If you choose to share my journey, then I welcome you, no matter your choices. Yes, you may find from time to time there are viewpoints expressed by me and other readers that you disagree with—that doesn’t make anyone Satan’s minion- as Mormons, and especially mothers, we’re all just doing what we think is right for ourselves and our families. Aren’t we all stronger members of the church and people in general when we listen to other viewpoints in a world with so much diversity? Who said we all have to agree all of the time? That isn’t how progress comes about. I invite you to move forward with me and ask you to continue posting that we all might find clarity in our lives.