Jesus Is My Hedge Fund Manager

My celestial sex partner works in the financial industry so we’ve always been cautious about saving for retirement, but statistics clearly show most Americans aren’t building a large enough nest egg. Currently Utah ranks #14 in the nation for retirement savings, not bad, but in
talking with other women over the past year I’ve noticed a new phenomenon- some young LDS families aren’t saving because they believe the Lord will provide when the time comes or the Millennium will start before they reach retirement age. This thinking is propelled by pulpit admonishments that we’re living in the last days and we’re the chosen generation, which gives some members a false sense of timing. Besides, who’s to say Jesus will show up and you won’t need money anymore? National numbers clearly show this country is headed toward a retirement crisis and those of us who’ve saved over the course of our lifetimes will be forced to pick up the tab for those who chose to play or pray instead. So, to those of you choosing not to put money away because Jesus is coming, well, here’s some advice, start now because you can’t all be Wal-Mart greeters.

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