Come Out Tonight and Dance By The Light of the Moon

My favorite holiday has always been Halloween and each year I look forward to the costume catalogs arriving in my mailbox. The catalog I’ve ordered my kids animal costumes from for the last four years arrived today and without looking, I tossed it into the backseat of the van, telling them to pick one out as I drove the family bus. I could tell from my oldest son’s silly comments that I’d made a rookie parent mistake. When we got home I grabbed the catalog and quickly thumbed through it. The first ten pages were the cute kiddie costumes I adore, but the following pages looked like a mailer you’d get from a sex shop.

It seems that in the years I’ve been fawning over Tom Arma© skunk costumes, and trying to find the perfect tights to match a spider hat, adults costumes have taken their cue from porn stars. Since when is it appropriate to wear a French Maid costume to work? Apparently at Halloween as last year we took the folks to our favorite local family restaurant only to find the waitresses trying to pass off fishnets and handcuffs as part of their annual costume contest. When they came around for our table’s votes, my celestial sex partner and my dad were all too happy to vote for the one with the most cleavage spilling out of her Cinderella dress. And from looking at the catalog it seems every career uniform has been sexualize in some way--teachers, nurses, Jane Jetson, even the Statue of Liberty! Plus, what mom wouldn't want to dress up as a "Supa Pimp Mama" to give out candy?

I miss the old days when Halloween was about getting to be that person/thing you’d secretly always wanted to be (and no, a harlot doesn’t count), staying out late on a weeknight, and seeing who could fill up a whole pillow case with candy. Now it seems to be about what everything else seems to be about- sex. So this year after I've donned my usual witch’s hat and velvet dress, I’ll get a good laugh when my celestial sex partner comes out in the new “Hottie Soottie” kilt I've ordered since he's so eager to embrace a sexier Halloween.