My Mom Crush

By now you’ve probably heard the term “girl crush” used to describe the non-sexual feelings a young woman may have for another woman- usually one who is much cooler, attractive, and intelligent than the one with the crush. Remember when there was all that media about Oprah and her friend Gail being gay, which of course was wrong, but clearly Gail is the one with the crush. Anyway, laying in bed last night I realized I’ve developed a “mom crush.” There’s a woman in my playgroup who is similar to myself, but the 2.0 version with sexier graphics and I’m in awe of her. Whever we get together she has fantastic stories about places she’s traveled recently, books she’s read, classes she’s taken and she knows everyone in town. Her kids are always dressed in the most dapper clothes, with their hair brushed and it actually stays in place (ahem, Julie Beck’s Wet Dream During General Conference 2007). While I’m busy fumbling through my diaper bag to find crushed animal crackers for the kids to snack on, she calmly pulls out matching tupperware loaded with veggies she’s carved into lincoln logs. When I see her at the gym in the hot pink workout clothes I couldn’t fit into in the Target dressing room, her sweat actually glistens while mine pools under my armpits adding another stain to the free T-shirt I got on our last cruise. The thing that sucks about this crush is that I really want to hate her, but she’s nice and doesn’t realize how incredible she is. I could be supped up like her but, well, I like to waste my time watching TV instead of being that organized, plus my kids have cowlicks. So, I’ll just go on admiring her, hoping that when she pulls off that hot pink workout outfit she’s got a hideous third nipple she’s hiding underneath them and that when all is said and done, she’s got a crush on some other mom who probably just thinks of herself as ordinary too.