Clearing The Way For the Rest Of Us

If you haven’t already read it, the LDS church has written a letter to be read to wards in California on June 29th concerning an “anti-gay marriage” amendment. I’m just thinking the church may want to ask themselves how this letter got posted on http://www.wikileaks.org/ over a week before it was supposed to be read…

Anyway, it asks members to support the passing of a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as being between, “a man and a woman” by donating their, “means and time.” Now these times, they are a changin’ and I fully expect that in my lifetime, regardless of any church coalition's best efforts, I will witness marriage legalized in many forms- homosexual, polygamy, and polyandry. Personally, I hope gay marriage gets the green light because that means polyandry is just that much closer to being okay and a few more husbands is exactly what I need. First of all, I’m thinking four husbands is the right number for me- a smart one, a good looking one, a bad boy, and one that knows how to do hair. Can you imagine how rich we’d be if all of my husband’s had jobs? Plus, I’d be unbelievably powerful in the house because with women, there’s only so much sex to go around. The good news for them is that they could split up my “honey do” list and it would make sense to dedicate one bathroom in the house to always having the seat up. They’d never be lonely for someone to play video games with and the Elder’s Quorum would no longer have to come over to help move heavy furniture. Yes, I hope “those gays” as my mother-in-law says, get to be married because it clears the way for those of us with bigger marital ambitions. Maybe if I had four husbands, one of them would finally be able to take out the trash.