Does Prop 8 Divide The Church?

Recently I learned that my eighty-four year-old grandmother, who lives in California, has been standing out in the road holding a sign urging others to Vote "Yes" on Prop 8 which would eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. I haven't heard her voice in almost six-years, but she'd be the first to tell you that "Families Are Forever" even if in this life she's put almost zero effort into connecting with said family. Too many missions to serve, temples to volunteer at, relief society lessons to give she says.

In the past few weeks whenever I log onto my Facebook account, the headlines read things like, "Lisa joined the group: Vote Yes! on Prop 8" or someone's status will say, "Michael is a Mormon supporting Prop 8." I've even received personal e-mails asking me to join the effort or donate my time/money. Few and far between are those Mormon friends brave enough to say they aren't supporting Prop 8.

So, on which side of this debate do you fall and why? Can you be a "good" Mormon and not support Prop 8? If things don't go your way on November 4th, then what?

Deciding Eternity In A Day

My little sister’s BFF just returned from a mission, met a guy, and on Sunday after three months of dating, they announced they were engaged. This left me stunned, more so when she asked my parents if she could have the reception in their yard on October 3rd—the couple will have known each other less than six months by then. In the Mormon faith we consider marriage to not just be for life, but for ETERNITY…yet we have some of the shortest engagements and marriage counseling isn’t a prerequisite. This doesn’t make sense to me, what do you think? (Full disclosure: I dated my Celestial Sex Partner for 6 months/wrote on his mission 2 years/ dated another year, engaged 6 months and somehow we didn’t have sex before marriage).

Tonight was supposed to be the marriage of an acquaintance but it was called off five days before the temple ceremony. I was callous enough to inquire why and learned the bride had uncovered a trail of lies when it came time to get an apartment and make joint credit purchases. And you guessed it, they’d only been dating a few months before the engagement.

For those of you who read the earlier post "Beware of Men Who Don't Just Grow Beards, They Marry Them." That wedding was supposed to take place this month, but has been postponed until October. I’ve decided to mind my business and hope his bride will realize she’s hitching her wagon to an experienced gay ox that will only pull her away from the life she’s envisioned.

While I applaud the church’s emphasis on marriage, it would be nice if the younger generation took more time in choosing an eternal companion than they did when deciding on a new car, at least with a car you have to get a credit check.

To my CSP, happy anniversary and thanks for choosing this eccentric Molly to rock your world for the last fourteen years!

Your Reaction?

To refresh your memory, Professor Jeffrey Nielsen wrote an op-ed two years ago taking a stance opposing the LDS church's statement on gay marriage which led to the end of his career at BYU. Please leave your reaction to his words.

Open Letter to California Mormons
Jeffrey S. Nielsen

I am a member of the Mormon Church, a married heterosexual, and a supporter of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. I am asking you to pause and give sincere thought to the letter from our religious leaders you have heard read, or will soon hear read, over our church pulpits asking you to get involved and oppose marriage equality in California. Please think deeply about this, not only as a member of a particular church, but also as a citizen of a democracy.

To press for an amendment to a civil constitution that would legalize discrimination against an entire class of people is no small matter, but of the greatest significance. When the argument, no matter how well intentioned, is based solely upon a religious proclamation; then, I believe, it is a serious contradiction of the wisdom of our founding fathers. It also does tremendous damage to the great progress in civil rights we’ve made in our country respecting the equal dignity of each person and towards a more certain legal equality for all citizens.

You should also know, not all faithful Mormons agree with our religious leaders’ encroachment into political matters. In fact, a growing number of active Mormons, who have gay friends and family members, are coming to the conclusion that our current leaders are as mistaken in promoting discrimination against gays and lesbians as was the Mormon hierarchy in the 60’s when they opposed equal rights for people of color, and our Mormon leaders in the 70’s when they opposed full legal equality for women.

Of course, religious authorities of any denomination possess the right, and may claim the legitimacy, to set the theology and policy for their religious community. When they; however, attempt to interject religious doctrine into the public spaces of a diverse democracy without reasonable justification, then members, especially faithful members, of that religious organization have the civic responsibility to express public disapproval of such dangerous and undemocratic behavior.

No one is asking that you condone a behavior that might violate your religious faith, but we need to allow everyone the freedom to live their life as they see fit, so long as it does not physically harm another person. After all, religious values must be something an individual freely chooses, not something forced upon him or her by the state. We should never allow our constitutions, whether state or federal, to become weapons in a crusade to impose a particular religious value system upon a pluralistic democracy. Today it might be a particular religious value that we affirm, but tomorrow it might be a religious system, which would seek to legislate against our own sincere beliefs. So now is the time to take a stand and keep separate civil and religious authority.

I do not believe that people choose their sexual orientation any more than they choose their skin color or gender. So to discriminate and deny them equal protection and equal opportunity under civil law because of these natural traits; especially in this case, sexual orientation, is grossly unfair and should be rejected outright in a compassionate and just democracy. If anyone could give me a single reasonable argument against marriage equality in our civil society, which doesn’t make fallacious appeals to tradition, misplaced appeals to religious authority, or make some ridiculous claim about nonhuman animals, then I would like to hear it. So far, no one has been able to present me with even a single justifiable reason.

You should know that like you, family and marriage are very important to me. As I have become acquainted with gay and lesbian couples, I have been touched by their goodness, sincerity, and commitment. I am persuaded that allowing marriage equality would, in fact, strengthen the institutions of family and marriage in our country. Perhaps it might even make all of us a little more considerate and responsible as both marriage partners and parents. I can only hope that the citizens of California, and my fellow Mormons, will possess the wisdom and moral decency to reject the call to discriminate against our gay and lesbian coworkers, friends, neighbors, church members, and family.

Clearing The Way For the Rest Of Us

If you haven’t already read it, the LDS church has written a letter to be read to wards in California on June 29th concerning an “anti-gay marriage” amendment. I’m just thinking the church may want to ask themselves how this letter got posted on http://www.wikileaks.org/ over a week before it was supposed to be read…

Anyway, it asks members to support the passing of a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as being between, “a man and a woman” by donating their, “means and time.” Now these times, they are a changin’ and I fully expect that in my lifetime, regardless of any church coalition's best efforts, I will witness marriage legalized in many forms- homosexual, polygamy, and polyandry. Personally, I hope gay marriage gets the green light because that means polyandry is just that much closer to being okay and a few more husbands is exactly what I need. First of all, I’m thinking four husbands is the right number for me- a smart one, a good looking one, a bad boy, and one that knows how to do hair. Can you imagine how rich we’d be if all of my husband’s had jobs? Plus, I’d be unbelievably powerful in the house because with women, there’s only so much sex to go around. The good news for them is that they could split up my “honey do” list and it would make sense to dedicate one bathroom in the house to always having the seat up. They’d never be lonely for someone to play video games with and the Elder’s Quorum would no longer have to come over to help move heavy furniture. Yes, I hope “those gays” as my mother-in-law says, get to be married because it clears the way for those of us with bigger marital ambitions. Maybe if I had four husbands, one of them would finally be able to take out the trash.