Boys Will Be Boys

As we’ve gotten into our thirties, I’ve noticed the men in our age group have gotten more outwardly competitive. It seems that if my celestial sex partner gets a new piece of yard equipment, a week later our 30-something neighbor has the same thing or better, if my celestial sex partner has a male co-worker who gets a new techno gadget, a day later he begs for the same whistle and bell. I’ve always seen woman as being competitive with each other, but now I think the men are worse. Don’t believe me? Our ward is chock-full of 30-something couples and today he came home with an elder’s quorum “invitation” (in Mormondom this means a photocopied piece of white paper) to an adult pinewood derby. As if it wasn’t bad enough to vicariously compete through your sons when they hit this annual rite of passage, now the men have decided to just outright slug it out on the mock track. The best part of the invitation was this sentence, “Light refreshments will be served for your munching enjoyment so please sign up to bring a favorite snack or dessert.” That’s Mormon hospitality for you, here’s what will be served and you’re going to bring it, of course this is male code for, “what your wife should prepare” as let’s get real, how often does the male partner of a relationship actually worry about the food for an event? Nope, they’re too worried about their derby car weighing in at five ounces. And yeah, our car is going to kick your car’s ass.