Party Pooper

Today was my son’s third day of preschool and already he’s come home with a birthday party invitation. He was so excited to open the card because “Benny” (who?) had given it to him, but after reading it, it was actually “Madison” (who?) that was having the party. My sons didn't even know who she was. I admit to not being the most alert parent, but has something changed in birthday etiquette that I’m not aware of? It seems the last few parties he’s been invited to have been by kids we don’t know, but are in his Sunday school class or athletic lessons. In my day you were allowed to invite a handful of family and friends which usually meant you only sent cards to those you played with on a regular basis. Now it seems parents are sending out bulk invites to anyone their kid breaths on and the parties have grown from ten motley neighborhood kids to thirty acquaintances---hey, what is this, a Mormon wedding? Are "registered at _____" tags next?

Not only have the parties grown in size, but so have the presents. It used to be you could get away with buying a package of PlayDohs or a board book, then you wrapped them in whatever paper you could find the hall closet, but now they have to be this fancifully swathed creation ordered from the latest educational toy magazine. Then you have to endure watching the kid open thirty gifts, hoping the whole time that yours will meet the bar, and that your child doesn’t have a meltdown wondering why Johnny’s the only one getting presents. In addition, it seems like the kids, girl especially, have to be decked out like their headed to the Little Miss/Mr. Royalty Pageant afterwards- don’t these parents understand they will only wipe chocolate cake down the front of that pricey smock?

My other gripe from the invitation was its advertising yelling out, “a giant bounce house!, inflatable water slide!, a custom piñata!, and live entertainment!” Are a few games in the backyard no longer entertaining enough so you’ve got to bring in the state fair?

Well, needless to say my son won’t be RSVPing “yes” for this soiree, and the line that clinched it (written in third person beside her photo) was, “I’m having my fourth birthday party this coming Saturday (today is Tuesday). My parents forgot to send out invitations earlier and we really hope that _________(computer typed) can come.” Clearly, this is an important event.

Hairplugs & Heartstrings

My family with a greater love for church and cheese than I spent last evening at the Mo' Tab & Osmonds concert. When you're filled with the spirit does you face have to take on that fake smile--what do you think David Archuleta? Growing up I thought Marie was beautiful, but now as an adult I think she's sadly strange. I've met Donnie and in person his face and hair have had more retreads than a diesel tire, but he was a nice man. Thanks for fifty years of representing Mormonism, now please go away. The Osmonds are headed to Vegas for a permanent show, click on this pic and you'll see Donnie already looks like Wayne Newton. Who do you think will be the next Mormon entertainment dynasty to last more than a decade?