Yep, It's Just That Simple

Whenever I’m in a waiting room there’s always a men’s magazine with an article offering advice on how to turn a woman on. Let me tell you, from what I’ve read they’ve got it all wrong, at least where wives and mothers are concerned. Those magazine experts and doctors advise men to buy sexy lingerie or perfume, to light a candle, play romantic music or take her to dinner, which worked in my single and childless twenties, but now that’s too much to hope for so there’s one proven technique for getting me in the bedroom and it’s free, which is a bonus in our waning economy. Here it is- housework. Yep, it’s just that simple, but that doesn't make for sexy magazine articles. All my husband has to do is load the dishwasher or sweep the floor and I feel a moan forming in the back of my throat. If he bends over to pick up the sweaty grass-stained socks he’s left on the bedroom floor for three days, I get a tingle up my leg. If he needs a sure thing, he can take the kids for an hour and help them clean their rooms while I take bath and guaranteed, the man will go to sleep happy.

Now, here’s where this gets messed up- men don’t believe us. I’ve told my celestial sex partner this several times when he’s wondering why I’m too tired for sex, but I wake up the next morning to find his dirty garments on the floor next to the shower. So, the next time you go to a bachlorette party, skip giving your friend the skimpy underwear or love potions and put together a basket with paper towels, window cleaner, dish soap, and a scrub brush because after a year of marriage, seeing them in her husband’s hands is what’s going to do it for her.