Your Reaction?

To refresh your memory, Professor Jeffrey Nielsen wrote an op-ed two years ago taking a stance opposing the LDS church's statement on gay marriage which led to the end of his career at BYU. Please leave your reaction to his words.

Open Letter to California Mormons
Jeffrey S. Nielsen

I am a member of the Mormon Church, a married heterosexual, and a supporter of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. I am asking you to pause and give sincere thought to the letter from our religious leaders you have heard read, or will soon hear read, over our church pulpits asking you to get involved and oppose marriage equality in California. Please think deeply about this, not only as a member of a particular church, but also as a citizen of a democracy.

To press for an amendment to a civil constitution that would legalize discrimination against an entire class of people is no small matter, but of the greatest significance. When the argument, no matter how well intentioned, is based solely upon a religious proclamation; then, I believe, it is a serious contradiction of the wisdom of our founding fathers. It also does tremendous damage to the great progress in civil rights we’ve made in our country respecting the equal dignity of each person and towards a more certain legal equality for all citizens.

You should also know, not all faithful Mormons agree with our religious leaders’ encroachment into political matters. In fact, a growing number of active Mormons, who have gay friends and family members, are coming to the conclusion that our current leaders are as mistaken in promoting discrimination against gays and lesbians as was the Mormon hierarchy in the 60’s when they opposed equal rights for people of color, and our Mormon leaders in the 70’s when they opposed full legal equality for women.

Of course, religious authorities of any denomination possess the right, and may claim the legitimacy, to set the theology and policy for their religious community. When they; however, attempt to interject religious doctrine into the public spaces of a diverse democracy without reasonable justification, then members, especially faithful members, of that religious organization have the civic responsibility to express public disapproval of such dangerous and undemocratic behavior.

No one is asking that you condone a behavior that might violate your religious faith, but we need to allow everyone the freedom to live their life as they see fit, so long as it does not physically harm another person. After all, religious values must be something an individual freely chooses, not something forced upon him or her by the state. We should never allow our constitutions, whether state or federal, to become weapons in a crusade to impose a particular religious value system upon a pluralistic democracy. Today it might be a particular religious value that we affirm, but tomorrow it might be a religious system, which would seek to legislate against our own sincere beliefs. So now is the time to take a stand and keep separate civil and religious authority.

I do not believe that people choose their sexual orientation any more than they choose their skin color or gender. So to discriminate and deny them equal protection and equal opportunity under civil law because of these natural traits; especially in this case, sexual orientation, is grossly unfair and should be rejected outright in a compassionate and just democracy. If anyone could give me a single reasonable argument against marriage equality in our civil society, which doesn’t make fallacious appeals to tradition, misplaced appeals to religious authority, or make some ridiculous claim about nonhuman animals, then I would like to hear it. So far, no one has been able to present me with even a single justifiable reason.

You should know that like you, family and marriage are very important to me. As I have become acquainted with gay and lesbian couples, I have been touched by their goodness, sincerity, and commitment. I am persuaded that allowing marriage equality would, in fact, strengthen the institutions of family and marriage in our country. Perhaps it might even make all of us a little more considerate and responsible as both marriage partners and parents. I can only hope that the citizens of California, and my fellow Mormons, will possess the wisdom and moral decency to reject the call to discriminate against our gay and lesbian coworkers, friends, neighbors, church members, and family.

I'm Not Dead You Know!

It’s summer, ah summer, the warmth, the long days, the pool, and the sweaty young women in sports bras running on the bike path. Sometimes I’m amazed my husband hasn’t run into a tree. For years I’ve put up with him casting sideways glances at beautiful women, which by they way has made me wonder if God’s really male because if he is, wouldn’t he have put one eye on the side of men’s heads so they didn’t have to strain to be secretive about looking? If your celestial sex partner is like mine, he can’t help himself and after a decade plus of marriage, I’ve given up trying to change him. Instead, I changed myself.

Just the other day we were driving to the library and a pair of male bicyclists were in front of us. Let me just say that black spandex and a helmet aren’t such a bad combo, especially when they’re on top of two muscular pedal sticks. “What’re you looking at?” he asked in a teasing tone, my eyes were on the spandex, bobbing up and down with every pedal push. “I’m not dead you know,” was my terse reply.

And there it was, if summer brought out an abundance of eye candy, then we’d both have rotten teeth by the end of it. Plus I’ve got to admit, it’s ratcheted up the sexual tension in our relationship and given me new insight into what he finds attractive. Who knows, I might even buy some spandex shorts to pull out if he presents lingerie on our next anniversary. The only thing killing our new foreplay is the gangly guy with the body hair of a sweaty llama who insists on running in nothing more than tight running shorts and tube socks every morning- talk about a cold shower.