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This weekend we went to the pool and I had nothing to wear but my maternity swimsuit top and some board shorts. Laying next to mothers dressed in flowery spandex suits or the few still brave and beautiful enough to wear itty-bitty bikini’s, I felt mismatched and underdressed. I vowed to get a new suit the next day. My mother reminded me of how awful it is to try on swimsuits with kids who will inevitably swing the dressing room door wide when you’re between changes, so she offered to baby sit while I went on a quest to find lycra strong enough to staple ripples of loose flesh to flaccid stomach muscles—at least until I reached the water and could stop sucking it in. J
Just two racks of swimsuits remained at the store, so I grabbed an armful of one-pieces and tankinis and in hopes of appearing more youthful, I tried on the two-pieces first only to find that where the bottom of the top and the top of the bottom met, there was a gap for my flat-tire tummy to ooze out. Many of the tops had a ‘70’s style with soft cups that tied behind the neck, but with those the flimsy pieces of fabric were not enough to fight gravity's gift of my "National Geographic" breasts. The one-pieces were no better with their frumpy fruit prints and high-cut legs. When I got to the register to buy the 80% off trench coat I’d found, the saleswoman asked, “Did you find everything?” I replied, “Well, if the fact that I came in for a swimsuit and I’m buying a coat tells you anything, then no, I didn’t.” She gave me a knowing smile. When I got home and showed my mother the coat she said, "Nice coverup. I've seen the kind of “suits” people wear under those and you'll be getting quite a bit of attention at the pool this year."
So, what’s your swimsuit horror story or are you one of those mom’s who can throw on a swimsuit and look fabulous without having to exfoliate, shave, wax, self-tan, paint your toenails, put on waterproof makeup, and then top it all off with the perfect hat and cover-up?
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
3 comments:
Even for a couple of years BEFORE I had children, I wasn't crazy about being seen in a bathing suit. I'd put on a few pounds in my 3rd and 4th years of college, and I just didn't look like I still felt. Those pounds have never really left me, though I haven't gained more either and thank myself for that much. So I basically never even bothered with the pool other than to dangle my feet and ankles while the rest of my capri-clad body stayed on dry land. Then I had kids...kids who love water! At first, I'd take them down to the pool only at night. There was hardly ever anyone there and it was dark, so no one could see very well. But then my kids got a bit older and wanted to play at the pool with their friends. For their sake, I shrugged off my insecurities, donned a bathing suit and went to the pool, acting much braver than I actually felt. I've been doing that ever since. I haven't gotten an, "Oh my gosh! She's so gross!!!" stare yet, so I try to take comfort that at least I'm not chasing anyone off or driving anyone to public rudeness.
No one better be one of "those" moms, lol. I have a few friends like that and it's not fair! After years of hating myself, especially in a swim suit, I have finally decided enough is enough. I found a suit I like and I am just dealing with it. I am wearing it, smiling, and telling myself I am the hottest woman in the room. When I do that it's easier to enjoy myself.
The only time I feel cute in a swim suit is when I'm in a maternity suit and only a few months pregnant. (although I bet I could still wear it and look the same... it's just not the same wearing it when I'm NOT pregnant!)
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